| 2004-01-20 08:10, by Julie Solheim-Roe|
I was thinking about a pretty Deep Philosophical Conundrum last night ----- that perhaps this new age idea and politically correct Californian psychology that implied each individual is choosing something, say a life pattern, or drama... like me with the many levels of feeling like a victim, estranged, misunderstood, scapegoat... this base level shadow side of a multi-faceted 'story'.... well, the actual idea of 'changing my mind' ... on a soul level... is another way of shaming? That 'Oh boy,, I can't get this life lesson right', feeling is still feeling alone, isn't it? I keep going back to this place of desperation and despair from the patterns that spiral into my own lunacy..... The only way to shift patterns, perhaps, is not to even think about it. To let life's dramas and dance's play out... until we naturally and organically tire of them or develop new approaches, without a forced idea of 'I have to let this go, or I am mis-creating my life'...... To understand the levels that lead to unconscious patterning is inherent in the western psyche... that is shining the light of understanding upon them.... but it's the very 'split' western mind that thinks 'i have to get this right' .... to accept responsibility as a separate being making wholly incomplete decisions, is often actually part of the western dis-ease itself. We are not separate. We have lost true commune-ity. With ourselves and with the cosmos... we are TOO individuated. And so the western psychological and metaphysical idea that it's all down to our individual SELF, that we need to be the one to change it, that we are THE director, producer and actor in our own 'story'... well, that idea is again not taking account for the energetic dance, the wave vs. particle theory of life. Like they say that String Theory is philosophy and not really science, because at this point, they will never know if the strings are the surfaces of 'something' coming in from another dimension. The influences on a galactic and universal level are staggering. Each "I" is a centre, but the whole fucking whirling whilrds are full of centres. Are we insane and egotistical enough to think WE have THE power, seperate from what else is happening? No, the true 'master' is one who is in UNISON with all the other events that are happening AT ONCE. And time the greatest trickster is telling us that this story can be retold. Well, yes. And, no. I guess that's what I am saying. The dance is beyond the human linear ideas. Until we learn to think, feel, experience with all the dimensions and worlds, the idea of creating a new reality pragmatically, is still a selfish western notion.
(I read something last year about this book Return of the Dark/Light Mother or New Age Armageddon? Towards a Feminist Vision of the Future by Monica Sjoo.. and how she explores these issues of individuality vs. community as being new age, western, patriarchal denial.... have to say, I agree!)