Scarlet Jewels: Western Banana Splits
The NewsLog of Julie Solheim-Roe
 Western Banana Splits14 comments
picture 2004-01-20 08:10, by Julie Solheim-Roe

I was thinking about a pretty Deep Philosophical Conundrum last night ----- that perhaps this new age idea and politically correct Californian psychology that implied each individual is choosing something, say a life pattern, or drama... like me with the many levels of feeling like a victim, estranged, misunderstood, scapegoat... this base level shadow side of a multi-faceted 'story'.... well, the actual idea of 'changing my mind' ... on a soul level... is another way of shaming? That 'Oh boy,, I can't get this life lesson right', feeling is still feeling alone, isn't it? I keep going back to this place of desperation and despair from the patterns that spiral into my own lunacy..... The only way to shift patterns, perhaps, is not to even think about it. To let life's dramas and dance's play out... until we naturally and organically tire of them or develop new approaches, without a forced idea of 'I have to let this go, or I am mis-creating my life'...... To understand the levels that lead to unconscious patterning is inherent in the western psyche... that is shining the light of understanding upon them.... but it's the very 'split' western mind that thinks 'i have to get this right' .... to accept responsibility as a separate being making wholly incomplete decisions, is often actually part of the western dis-ease itself. We are not separate. We have lost true commune-ity. With ourselves and with the cosmos... we are TOO individuated. And so the western psychological and metaphysical idea that it's all down to our individual SELF, that we need to be the one to change it, that we are THE director, producer and actor in our own 'story'... well, that idea is again not taking account for the energetic dance, the wave vs. particle theory of life. Like they say that String Theory is philosophy and not really science, because at this point, they will never know if the strings are the surfaces of 'something' coming in from another dimension. The influences on a galactic and universal level are staggering. Each "I" is a centre, but the whole fucking whirling whilrds are full of centres. Are we insane and egotistical enough to think WE have THE power, seperate from what else is happening? No, the true 'master' is one who is in UNISON with all the other events that are happening AT ONCE. And time the greatest trickster is telling us that this story can be retold. Well, yes. And, no. I guess that's what I am saying. The dance is beyond the human linear ideas. Until we learn to think, feel, experience with all the dimensions and worlds, the idea of creating a new reality pragmatically, is still a selfish western notion.

(I read something last year about this book Return of the Dark/Light Mother or New Age Armageddon? Towards a Feminist Vision of the Future by Monica Sjoo.. and how she explores these issues of individuality vs. community as being new age, western, patriarchal denial.... have to say, I agree!)

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20 Jan 2004 @ 12:48 by sharie : wow, thanks for sharing such honesty
I don't experience what you described, Julie, but there have been times in my life where I've caught glimpses of feeling like I was on the receiving end of chaos.

In one vivid moment, my life was looking...


the exaggerated drama and unbelievable coincidences...

I asked a friend what he thought of the circumstances, and he said, "it's ironic."

"What's that mean?" I asked.

I had vague notions, but I wanted to know exactly what "ironic" meant. He said he didn't know, so I grabbed a dictionary.

Several definitions, but one stood out...

it referred to a situation in a drama where the *audience* could see the whole story, the coincidences and circumstances...

but the characters - because of their limited perspective and frame of reference - were caught up in their blindness to the truth of what was happening, so they were making really stupid choices.

When I read that definition, it became crystal clear to me, "I'm getting off the stage, and getting in the audience."

In my mind, I could see myself literally removing myself from the drama, from the stage of life that I was experiencing, in order to take a position in the audience so I could see *what* was going on.

I had no desire to be in the drama...

I wanted to see the truth of my life.

So I took a seat and just watched... and boy, did I begin to see it all unfold.

I could see who was creating the drama and why.

It was a sad story, and one I removed myself from.

I didn't want to participate in her delusion...

a woman I'd known most of my life... and her two sisters...

It worked for me to do that, and if I ever need to again, I know I can.

But I avoid situations and circumstances that are not in harmony with who I am and what I want to experience, so that has opened up my life to such a wonderful way of living.

You *can* create and experience anything you want, Julie.

You choose.

I wish everyone could be relieved from the confusion you speak of.

I know it's possible because I am free of it.

And I won't let anyone else drag me into their hellhole.

That's why I've been outcast from some social circles here at ncn.

I just have no desire to participate in it.

Wishing you well Julie,
with love,

20 Jan 2004 @ 13:19 by istvan : The theory of truth.
After spending most part of my life searching for answers to who am i, and who you are (at times phrased who the hell do you think you are) I must finally proclaim that mostly, but not wholly, thanks to this network I have finally GOT IT. It is really not possible to convey by words, poems, nor even by a song to describe the feeling of ecstasy when one arrives at the ultimate truth, the finding of the purpose of why one is here and now , not somewhere else, nor other times nor not being someone else. Thanks to truckloads of books , weeds transformed into holy smoke, countless mushrooms turned into compost, intense outpourings of ewer so wise bits and bytes of logs, blogs and https , I finally found truth. The following words express all the truths I have encountered. Except for the strange language, easily understandable. In case of problems contact Waxen or Swami Beyondananda for possible translation.
Here it is:
Hsmigrfd: gfrcmjsiolhd mjeicx; sbgtrmsiy ksdbyalkdbnmerhjcir jkdsrewlao ostvalkjebzjmsuh, euidjapqwmv nvetalpvsdegj vartmkayg cdftr dgepjqdst nxaiydhgfskn nstnzpatc ngetsl cdeskmpqgstc zgtrenmauif ksytbamdgs kdgtwmpfaj gdrvmzsioql hdgrsy ioerslma dewybxhyuqpm bvcuyhfdrt

Oplwrdspaec srebvioskjsl yhvadekmvdfrnsjm kiadsrgxople hgdrtv baiemncolsgqbzu bgsrgredsjmb hsvbzuragdl vfdemkalo fsrewhbvcfdrtyjabxi lksrwa vbdeilsbxcut lksfdehnbvculsg njsytjeo mdhtils aldbe.

I happen to know it is the truth for shure, because as it was channeled to me and i was typing them in the wordprocessor, the computer automatically underlined each word in bright red color and on top of that, each letter was emphasized by tiny piramids underneath, all connected tgether.I do not feel anything special though, since Ninty has been saying these words all along, and countless people have been chanting them for eons.Jibberish is healing.  

20 Jan 2004 @ 15:43 by CONFUSED? @ : CHAOS


20 Jan 2004 @ 16:17 by sharie : hysterical Istvan, thanks
Truth does exist. That's my experience.

I know most people never experience it.

I didn't say you weren't living your life.

Anyone who enjoys chaos and confusion will probably continue to experience it.

When you don't enjoy it, and you reject it, and choose something else, that's what you'll experience.  

20 Jan 2004 @ 16:25 by vibrani : the idea of shame
isn't new age or metaphysical at all. Shame has no place in it. Shame and guilt are self-judgements, often based on anger, coming from a person who feels inferior. You wrote that maybe the way to shift is to not even think about it. Well, that's one option for sure. The other option is to change your self-judgements into something like, "Oh, I chose that and see how that hasn't worked for me. Let me try something else with more awareness and self-love."  

20 Jan 2004 @ 16:45 by Jewels @ : Differences
Hey guys... I am speaking specifically of patriarchy, the western split mind and the shadows in all of us. We are all racist and confused. Some of that is in a 'good sense' as I mean about chaos. I am into chaos theory and how that means living in many whirlds, giving voices and enlightment to the energies. I feel it is major denial to say people have detoxed these dis-eases of whirld fraught by what is going on, really. Hence why I gave that Monica Sjoo book link. I might not be saying this intellectually enough. It's not about enjoyment. It's about reality. There is what is real, where one is, and where our species is. My main point is almost 'ironically' highlighted by some of this feedback. I don't thik the new age idea of a separate reality is possible. For you to say that you are 'fixed' and don't understand/ experience the human condition... I think is a river in Egypt. I am talking about the deeper patterns, after all the workshops and the therapy. I lived in a pure state of Grace for years. And it's still there. And so is the journey. I agree about awareness the light of it... I was speaking of it... sigh. Oh well.  

20 Jan 2004 @ 17:00 by vibrani : Jewel
I think I understand what you're saying - you can't live a fantasy and we must be real. Would you agree that we all have a somewhat shared reality and our personal reality, that overlap and interplay? I think that fits in with the chaos theory.  

20 Jan 2004 @ 17:30 by Julie-Jewels @ : Certainty
Of course I would agree my friend. My original post's rantings had to do with this Big Philosophical Issue I was getting at in my own quirky thought process last night, in light of a certain angst, angle that is happening in my own story now. On a shadow, base level, it could be seen as the labels I gave it about scapegoats, shame, etc. There are so many currents that happen in our flow and relationships to our personal and transpersonal mythos... the idea I was pondering, was the true organic universe (and according to string theory, is made of of several universes), well... it is not about the very egotistical notion of 'self'... like that doctorate stuff they had around the arab mind vs. the western... the idea of self in the old pre-western world is not about a centre point, but rather a flow of relationships... i think it's important in the great conversation we look at this... especially those of us living lives in modern comforts... with all the false memes... so many 'assumptions' and that is very apparent in the most western californian new age and psychology theories that we 'create our own reality'. we do. and we don't. because, there is no self. we come and return to nothing. which is all thing, in potential. here in is the Mystery. That quote from Abe Lincon about 'I wish I was as certain of one thing in my life as he is about everything!'  

21 Jan 2004 @ 10:27 by sharie : "Reality"
I've been composing a newslog entry on that very topic.

As one friend said, "Life is a roller-coaster, but you don't have to believe it."  

21 Jan 2004 @ 17:18 by istvan : Ithink it is natural at this time
to think that the individual self is some kind ofcenter, all powerful commander of the reality of the experiencer of "Iam That I am" when that is discovered.
Not unlike the people found comfort thinking the Earth was the center of the universe. How false that seems now.
A lot more spiritual growth is required yet, and that will come in time.
Than perhaps some of the subjects we are discussing will naturally unfold their nature without much, or any effort.  

21 Jan 2004 @ 17:40 by me @ : not I
I think that's a great analagy. in the initial 'discovery' it seems so apparent and obvious. and you can see how that discovery is a natural compensation for how small the species must have felt when it looked at the stars in their reasoning..... and that is the same when one has an 'enlightenment'... they think that means they suddenly ARE 'THE' one and only centre... and it's so hard to even talk to someone when the 'first awakening' happens... that's why gurus say... 'yes yes yes... keep meditating... '


22 Jan 2004 @ 06:01 by istvan : Yes,
The children of God/the Universe are extremely playful.  

16 Jan 2006 @ 10:52 by jeff @ : Western Banana Splits /Gurdjieff
Your view seems to have some similarity to Gurdjieffs's view that WE CANNOT DO ANYTHING..but we think we (and again Gurdjieff would say the 'I' is many 'I's, the 'we' is many 'we's') can and create illusions of controlling things and making choices .....the Westerner in particular is so defined by his/her(especially the male of the two) 'doing' that it this concept of 'we cannot do' is very foreign, though faith (as opposed to works based) based Christians (see Paul's original original teachings which Gurdjieff borrowed from) may 'get' it...the 'it' refers to the fact that we are so mechanical, so distant from our true selves and therefore God(dess), so divided into so many 'I's that when we say we are doing it is an illusion of the highest order....I know this is not exactly what you were pointing out but I think there are some parallels...I am not a 'disciple'of Gurdjieff but find some of his teachings (via Ouspensky and Nicoll) useful.....feel free to reply.......Best,.Jeff(Oxford, England).........  

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