 2003-08-21 13:32, by Julie Solheim-Roe
War of the sexes? Or no real men? A close friend and neighbour showed up on my doorstep last night telling me about her husband who has issues of control over possessions and money. She is doubly more educated but has two very very small children. He holds a 17th century idea of traditional marriage and somehow thinks she should be content with that. He didn't appreciate her not 'being grateful' of their marriage so in the end decided to slam her about -- yes, physically I mean. She had a band-aid on her foot to prove it. Where has my sense of self gone? She mused... and I wonder. I knew about it, as I felt that way after I had my now-two year old. One of my life's work is about healing thru all the elements, through the personal love and pure raw vortex energies that the womb holds... but I digress. Twenty years ago in Glastonbury there was a woman's riot (or so I am told) and a bunch of them started having women's meetings, and then most of them ended up leaving their husbands. From some points of view this wasn't such a good thing in the end. Here we are, more than a generation later, and I see this Amazon energy being held back in several of my peers who have small children. I don't think it's conscious, but there are so many parallel themes about old-world thinkings in Western men about what is failure and success... the Inner Critic that is not one I relate to. For me and many women, Life is a journey, the Great Mystery. I have judgment about the way men are treating women I love. Is this all about Mars? I don't know, but something strange is in the air. Universes seem sliding away and for some reason I feel calm in the storm. I find myself giving advice I feel is 'right' and when I hear myself, I realize I need to take my own. Love is all you need. But true love has to do with courage, wisdom and transparency. Be ye like Children. But not like Angels, as in Philip Pullman's trilogy -- for Angels War. Will Mars walk away quietly or will this balancing of the energies continue to hone us closer and closer to Who We Really Are? Getting back to this Imagineering Concept that Ming and I and our whirling creative shared universes seem to be rethreading, is that we can use any set of philosophies to prove our quantive point. I walk in many worlds and seem to 'see' some basic meanness being justified by men who are not, in fact, being supportive or loving to women who have loved them. This, indeed, feels like war. It doesn't feel like mad insane war. It actually feels like tactical differences. Like, let's make a stand. Lovers unite. The 'spade is spade' story. Don't use flowers and steal the very language you learnt from us, to justify complete cop-outs. One such 'man' used one of the longest compilations of quotes I have ever seen, to try to get to his shared 'audience' with a woman he has very ungracefully broken up with. Why don't we get real here? What -are- we imagining? This is not lunacy, but marsacy. I am sick and disappointed, but again, I have never felt more calm about my own 'truth'. It's not opinion, intuition, instincts, gossip or loose ideas. It's based on experience and in some strange sense, gnosis. This morning I phoned the Somerset police and got the facts about what my local friend should do next time he threatens or hurts her physically. Here we can get practical. With other more insidious abuses, where the split-collective mythos of Her sons whom still wage war on their mothers', projecting her as their lovers they shun and 'divide and conquer'... well, what can I say? I think I've said it.
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