Scarlet Jewels: Eh? A Canada to Notice
The NewsLog of Julie Solheim-Roe
 Eh? A Canada to Notice6 comments
picture 2003-09-16 14:02, by Julie Solheim-Roe

From the Pittsburgh Gazette - interest
You live next door to a clean-cut, quiet guy. He never plays loud music or throws raucous parties. He doesn't gossip over the fence, just smiles politely and offers you some tomatoes. His lawn is cared-for, his house is neat as a pin and you get the feeling he doesn't always lock his front door. He wears Dockers. You hardly know he's there.

And then one day you discover that he has pot in his basement, spends his weekends at peace marches and that guy you've seen mowing the yard is his spouse.

Allow me to introduce Canada.

The Canadians are so quiet that you may have forgotten they're up there, but they've been busy doing some surprising things. It's like discovering that the mice you are dimly aware of in your attic have been building an espresso machine.

Did you realize, for example, that our reliable little tag-along brother never joined the Coalition of the Willing? Canada wasn't willing, as it turns out, to join the fun in Iraq. I can only assume American diner menus weren't angrily changed to include "freedom bacon," because nobody here eats the stuff anyway.

And then there's the wild drug situation: Canadian doctors are authorized to dispense medical marijuana. Parliament is considering legislation that would not exactly legalize marijuana possession, as you may have heard, but would reduce the penalty for possession of under 15 grams to a fine, like a speeding ticket. This is to allow law enforcement to concentrate resources on traffickers; if your garden is full of wasps, it's smarter to go for the nest rather than trying to swat every individual bug. Or, in the United States, bong.

Now, here's the part that I, as an American, can't understand. These poor benighted pinkos are doing everything wrong. They have a drug problem: Marijuana offence's have doubled since 1991. And Canada has strict gun control laws, which means that the criminals must all be heavily armed, the law-abiding civilians helpless and the government on the verge of a massive confiscation campaign. (The laws have been in place since the '70s, but I'm sure the government will get around to the confiscation eventually.)

They don't even have a death penalty!

And yet .. nationally, overall crime in Canada has been declining since 1991. Violent crimes fell 13 percent in 2002. Of course, there are still crimes committed with guns -- brought in from the United States, which has become the major illegal weapons supplier for all of North America -- but my theory is that the surge in pot-smoking has rendered most criminals too relaxed to commit violent crimes. They're probably more focused on shoplifting boxes of Ho-Hos from convenience stores.

And then there's the most reckless move of all: Just last month, Canada decided to allow and recognize same-sex marriages. Merciful moose, what can they be thinking? Will there be married Mounties (they always get their man!)? Dudley Do-Right was sweet on Nell, not Mel! We must be the only ones who really care about families. Not enough to make sure they all have health insurance, of course, but more than those libertines up north.

This sort of behavior is a clear and present danger to all our stereotypes about Canada. It's supposed to be a cold, wholesome country of polite, beer-drinking hockey players, not founded by freedom-fighters in a bloody revolution but quietly assembled by loyalists and royalists more interested in order and good government than liberty and independence.

But if we are the rugged individualists, why do we spend so much of our time trying to get everyone to march in lockstep? And if Canadians are so reserved and moderate, why are they so progressive about letting people do what they want to?

Canadians are, as a nation, less religious than we are, according to polls. As a result, Canada's government isn't influenced by large, well-organized religious groups and thus has more in common with those of Scandinavia than those of the United States, or, say, Iran.

Canada signed the Kyoto global warming treaty, lets 19-year-olds drink, has more of its population living in urban areas and accepts more immigrants per capita than the United States. These are all things we've been told will wreck our society. But I guess Canadians are different, because theirs seems oddly sound.

Like teenagers, we fiercely idolize individual freedom but really demand that everyone be the same. But the Canadians seem more adult -- more secure. They aren't afraid of foreigners. They aren't afraid of homosexuality. Most of all, they're not afraid of each other.

I wonder if America will ever be that cool.

Source: Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (PA) Author: Samantha Bennett Published: Wednesday, July 30, 2003 Copyright: 2003 PG Publishing

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16 Sep 2003 @ 14:35 by martha : well
I have always been proud of my Canadian roots and now I know why. thanks Julie  

16 Sep 2003 @ 14:48 by jeffolsen : Towelie says:
Don't forget to bring a towel...
It's always a good idea to bring a towel when you're getting your feet wet. Freedom is what YOU make of it. I AM CANADIAN!  

29 Oct 2003 @ 23:08 by bernard wisser @ : Canada...
Ah, sounds like Holland where I live...driving across the Canadian Rockies once, in an Automatic Transmiss. Van with a wood platform top topped by a bombadier plexiglass turret, my gears went crazy...Reverse, would be drive 1,2,or 3; Drive 1 would be 2, or 3, or reverse; and so on. Somehow I got the van--which was living up to it name that happened to be Meshuga-- to a small dorp's garage...putting it up on the lift we saw a metal bracket holding the trans. cable had broken off. I asked the mechanic if he could fix it...he pondered my question and said he could fix one of two ways and I could choose...1. he could send for the part south of the border in the USA and that might take up to a week or 2. he could make a new one by bending a little piece of rod and welding it on...I asked, how long that would take and he said, Oh you can wait...10 minutes later, gulping I asked how much? He laughed and said oh five bucks should do it...I like welding.
Boy, that hadn't been done in the good old USA since the twenties...  

30 Nov 2003 @ 05:30 by greg @ : yeah ..
but, if you or your family are not part of the boomer gravy train, you may as well leave this country because you'll be treated like a Native Indian eventhough you've got the heart of Mother Teresa and moral authority of Ghandi.  

26 Dec 2003 @ 01:13 by David @ : C,eh,N,eh,D,eh
There are a few down sides eg,
Financial backing for ideas is frowned upon.
Political acumen is extinct.
To get the kind of info, freely available in The US, about our country
We must get it from a US site.
The Mckenzie Brothers are our nextdoor neighbours, everywhere!
Critical thought is which American fast food chain one will patronise

30 Jan 2004 @ 07:21 by Geoff Dow @ : Canada Rules!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have always been proud of my country, best place to live in the world, yes it has it's quirks but the good out ways those quirks by a million to .5, which by the way is the same margin for Canadian to America beer. Long live this great country we call Canada  

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